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| Me with Pak Ucok! :D |
StudentsxCEOs Episode 4 - Pak Abdul Hamid Batubara (Pak Ucok)
2011 – A Year of Firsts
Kicked start the beginning of new year with ITB Harvard National Model United Nations (HNMUN) Intensive Training. Missed the first caucus training with the alumnae because I had to have second-chance examination to fix my C grade for Material and Energy Balances course :( and in the end the grade didn’t change, pfftt. My semester break this month was full of training, both for HNMUN as Person in Charge, as well as adjudication training for 14th Indonesian Varsities English Debate Championship, the one I champed in previous year. At the end of this month I boarded a plane for the first time in my life: went to Makassar, earned A accreditation and adjudicated in Grand Final of IVED 2011, and had a great deal of fun in my first visit to the eastern part of Indonesia. Coming back to Bandung, I received a message telling that I had been selected as one of “Mahasiswa Berprestasi” in Proficio Awards 2011 – an award given to outstanding students from various major and batch. It was really unpredictable :P
| With some of ITB team members for IVED UNHAS |
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| Proficio Awards 2011 |
The highlight of this month is, of course, my journey to USA: Boston with its Harvard and MIT, New York, Washington DC, and Niagara Falls. Me and 17 other distinguished delegates left Indonesia on Valentine’s Day (haha). It was my first time going abroad, first time seeing snow, first time going to USA, first time visiting places that I previously only saw on TV and Internet. The conference loaded me with new insights about world’s decision making process, and the whole trip was simply a-m-a-z-i-n-g... I cried in Abu Dhabi when going back. I got full sponsorship and lots of donations I got through bloodsweatandtears so my parents didn’t have to pay for anything, I was magically blessed. The only thing that tainted this month was an icy relationship with someone I thought I could believe in.
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| Lincoln Memorial |
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| Statue of Liberty |
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| At Harvard University |
My 19th birthday came in the midst of jet lag and limbo-ish state of of mind. The thought of USA lingered in my mind throughout this month. Nothing really special happened actually, I had to catch up with college stuffs in Chemical Engineering major that I had abandoned for 3 weeks straight :P. In this month I learned to accept a bitter truth about that someone, again forgetting good things that happened between us. I was betrayed once more by a person I almost gave my heart to, the fragile part I knew he could break. I stayed off from getting in touch, only went out once again with him. Learned to accept that our promise wouldn’t happen, and we were not destined for each other. Heard rumors and gossips circling around, turned off my ear and concentrated to my study while ignoring the soap-bubble-that-bursts fact.
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| The Twins' 19th Birthday |
Super exhausting end of semester examination. Went through the last selection process for Chandra Asri Petrochemical Scholarship. I got the limited scholarship only offered to 10 ChemEng students. It was.. big :P but I have to work 2 years in their company. Fair enough, since after knowing deeper about SLB I thought I wouldn’t be ready to face highly-demanding environment in oil service company right after I graduate. The company promises good trainings in and out of the country, so after consulting with the big family of mine I did accept the deal. I wouldn’t earn very big income, but somehow I felt like it was going to be okay as a start. I aimed for thick training experiences after 2 years working there. At the end of the month, I had community service in Ciparay Village with fellow Chemical Engineering 2009 friends. 2 days 1 night in this village reminded me to always be grateful for everything Allah SWT had given to me, the endless blessing in every tiniest aspect of life. I learned to live with the poor, slept peacefully above solid ground, ate naturally grown, delicious vegetables and saw a true, genuine happiness stream from their simple life... a forgotten piece of monotonistic, fast-paced modern life we all had been living in.
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| HIMATEK 2009 Community Service, Ciparay Village |
In this month I had to go through the most stressing 2 weeks of my life: 2-weeks+ Basics of Bioprocess (DAS BP) Laboratory. It was like hell. Seriously. 8 am to 3 pm nonstop (only for having meal and religious practice). I almost literally lost my sanity in doing the whole lab assignments, even unconsciously blabbering about fermentation when I did shalat and mom came, she was afraid that her daughter might lose her mind. Slept only 2 hours for 3 days in a row, only slept maximum 4-5 hours everyday in average. People were having the beginning of summer break so campus was completely silent. After the lab ended, 18 Bioprocess students had a crazy, after-stress karaoke and hanging out session before going back to the hometowns. Yaayy bioprocess rocks!
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| Lab DAS BP |
Cheers for, finally, summer break! I had always been a home lover so I enjoyed staying at home doing whatever I wanted to do. First summer break completely free from debating practice, half sad half happy, tho. I had a lot of time to apply for many selections, organized HNMUN 2012 Selection Process phase two, had a family vacation to Cipanas Garut, also with my cousins and close relatives.
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| With my cousins and Grandma |
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| Trio Macan, my best highschool teammates, reunited at JOVED 2011 |
The highlight of this month is, of course, my second time going abroad for Japan-Asia Young Scientist and Engineers Study Visit (JAYSES) 2011 in Bangkok, Thailand organized by Tokyo Institute of Technology. The selection to be JAYSES participant was heart-pumping, and the after selection was, for the lack of better words, full of surprise. Again, all expenses paid, which made it even better :P because I used my extra money from USA trip and we got sponsorship from PT SKF Indonesia. Met Nana, Reinhardt, and Gamma for the first time as fellow ITB delegates..we looked like having blind date because we only knew each others’ faces from facebook :P, also met Dhanita, Citra, Alfan from UI as well as Sisil, Rysti from UGM.
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| An unexpected encounter with Mario Maurer at Siam Paragon |
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| Indonesian cultural performance @ King Mongkut's University of Technology Thonburi |
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| With fellow delegates at Grand Palace, Bangkok |
After Idul Fitri which I enjoyed in my first day back in Indonesia again :), the real fifth semester had only just begun. Had a jolt of excitement (and relief) knowing that I was paired with Daniel Wahjudi for Laboratory Course I (Labtek I). We had known each other for quite long: group 96 in PROKM (orientation for freshmen), FTI-A in first year of college, majoring in Chemical Engineering, took Bioprocess as sub-major, but had never been working together. Went through our first labtek, Glucose-Fructose Conversion. It was emotionally draining, and we were completely mad but even at that time I knew our partnership grew closer and more solid.
October was the pinnacle of fifth semester hecticness. Labtek occupied most of my times, assignments, quizzes, and tests came consecutively to the point that I had to come to campus 7 days a week. I couldn't have survived this month without my ChemEng ladies, especially Indy, Priska, Denissa, Rea, Tyas, Monce, Elsa, Bibil, Mbadita, and brozone duet Jimmy and David Bieber.
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| (some of) my ChemEng Ladies :) |
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| Meet my partner! :D |
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| New delegates! ...and sleep-deprived committee |
What happened in November? Another month full of academic strikes (yea yea you know how my major could be really cruel). This month I applied in the selection for StudentsxCEOs core team, a platform where potential students coming from reputable university can have the chance to sit and share together with top Indonesian CEOs regularly. In this organization, students are expected to learn, share, and give impact in form of Microfinance Project. I had nothing to lose, to be honest. Went through document screening, FGD, and interview. On the announcement day, I was actually quite convinced that I might have a fair chance of not being selected. Scrolling through the website, I surprisingly found my name at the bottom of the page. I smiled to my pessimistic feeling afterwards :P.
December
This is my December, this is my time of the year.- Linkin Park, My December
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| Indonesian delegates for 11th Hitachi Young Leaders Initiative Vietnam |
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| HNMUN 2011 - Mid February |
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| Proficio Awards - Early February |
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| Chandra Asri Scholarship - Mid August |
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| JAYSES - Mid October |
So basically that’s that, everything 2011 had treated me with. It was an unforgettable year, and will be treasured in my heart and mind forever. Thank you Allah SWT. Endless Alhamdulillahirabbilalamin to all the blessings You have bestowed upon me.
Leaving The House That Built Me
Tomorrow's JOVED intercomp will perhaps be the last debate intercomp for me. I've calculated many possibilities for the next few years, and I suddenly came to a conclusion that I can no longer stay in the debating community. Not that I don't want to, but the burden of studying in this *poof* freaky major of mine is inevitable. I won't be able to attend debate competition anytime except on holidays, meaning: IVED and JOVED. The loss will be so damn big if I dared to join competition outside holidays. How can I study those super difficult calculations and concepts, with limited time, with constant test at least once a week (yes, test, not quizzes), while at the same time practicing debate until late at night?
Unfortunately, I'm not a type of person who can understand college subjects easily. I'm not a fast learner, as what happen in my friends' cases where they can still having extracurricular activity. Add to the cart the fact that my major's test is always that difficult. Thing is, debating drained energy, unlike most any other. It's so not convenient when you have debate practice until 10 after a 7am-6pm class and lab, while having test on one or two days later, surrounded by people who always study earlier. Well face it, man, most of the people I encounter in my everyday life don't have any other activities beside studying, himpunan, or religious prayers/service. I've seen how my major can be so cruel in torturing their students with academic burden. That's a pity, since it hampers softskill-developing activities (well sorry, my definition doesn't go in line with himpunan), but this is also a choice that I've made. A choice that I've made with partial understanding about the complications. Until know I still see that yes, I didn't have any choice, at all, at that tiniest fraction of time where my future emerged like a hatching egg.
It becomes clearer day by day that this moment will soon happen.
I thought I'd never leave debating. I've always wondered how I would live without this activity. What kind of pursuit of happiness would I go through, if it wasn't for debating? Debate was a thing I've always considered in making future plans, something that can become my most effective refreshment, a weekend sweet treat that I've always treasured. Debate was my best friend during the lowest time of my life. It was something that helped me regain strength, something that gave me hope, something that was thrilling enough to create adrenaline rush. It was a thing that led me in craving for 'avenged paradise': moments where I could show myself to the world, to the people who doubted any of my ability, to those who believed that I had to always go in the path that had been planned... that I couldn't be the change I wanted to see.
Debate has been a tool that helped me achieving achievements, even bigger and greater that I imagined when I first entered this magical world. Debate was an activity that turned me from a stammer speaker into a public speaker, where English speaking was made easy, where my fluency boosted up, grew explosively exponential. If I had not been a debater, I would have never passed HNMUN selection. I'd never have been to United States of America with 17 distinguished delegates. It was this skill that helped me in understanding world issues, it was this skill that promotes critical thinking that helped me in having broader views of everyday aspects of life. If I had not been a debater, I would have never seen things from different perspectives. I would always be a one-way thinker that's not so tolerant.
At the same time, I learned about friendship, teamwork, care, love, togetherness... every 'sense of family' that is loudly declared, jargonistically, by a militancy-based 'institution where humans are developed into humans'. Debating community is a community like no other. Despite the competitive environment where institution crushes each other, debaters always find the same characteristics that binds people together in harmony, overcoming the differences even when the differences are not tolerable by the society in general. The characteristic is best defined by, well, simply their love, devotion, masochism, whatever - to the activity of debating itself.
Through endless debate practices from morning until midnight, deadly adaptation process since I was 15, intercomps, coaching and brainstorming, discussions, gossips, love stories, precious competitions, victories, being best speaker, through debating... I've found my life.
I'm now leaving the house that built me, facing a new dimension I have hardly foreseen, to the dark and difficult times lying ahead, hoping to see a giant light at the end of the tunnel.
2010 and The Days of Being Eighteen: A Roller-Coaster of Emotion
I was trapped by tight schedule and things to worry about that I forgot to write about 2010, as what I’ve always done in the past few years as a special post for my blog. Now I’ve suddenly turned 19 and I remember that I’ve been through one hell of a ride in 2010 and my previous age, 18, so I decided to mix the two periods and create this writing, a reminiscence of hardwork and strengthened faith.
2010 started with a blast. I had my first varsity level English Debate Championship and successfully, unpredictably, became the champion of The 13th Indonesian Varsities English Debate Championship, the biggest debating tournament in Indonesia. (http://id.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indonesian_Varsity_English_Debate). Months passed by, the glory days faded little by little, and I found myself depressed after lots of academic-strikes. Second semester of university life was obviously not easy. I drained lots of tears, had more than enough sleepless nights, too much coffee, and I was fed up by all shitty calculations and disgusting vectors. My everlasting indecisiveness about whether or not I should choose Chemical Engineering as my major irritates to the point of agony. I decided to take risk, and surprisingly I was eligible to enroll in Chem Eng Dept.
After IVED I made up my mind: I wouldn’t have any courage to sacrifice academic life for debating (again), so I aimed for tournaments held on holidays. I watched bitterly while my batch friends joined lots of competitions and being stronger, but I kept in mind that my GPA has to go first. Although it was not that satisfactory, but at least I got the chance to get a scholarship for one year (alhamdulillah) and had enough GPA to go for Chem Eng. However, I was offered a position as Secretary in SEF’s newly created organizational body, and I accepted it *without thinking much about the consequences haha*. I also did an impulsive leap when Danie, Miss President, told me to join National Universities English Debate Championship held by Dirjen Pendidikan Tinggi as a yet-to-be-accredited adjudicator. Little did I know that NUEDC was a tough competition and I did not have much knowledge on British Parliamentary debating, but I ended up being breaking adjudicator and was trusted to adjudicate in EFL Grand Final round J. I also got the chance to improve my skill when attending intensive practice for Java Overland Varsities English Debate Championship. It was the first time I joined a debate competition with no other girl as teammate, but it was such an honor to work with Rifan and Yosaka despite the fact that we ended up as Quarterfinalist.
The first 7 months of 2010, and at the same time the first 4 months of my 18 age, was filled with another unsuccessful love story. It was a bittersweet experience, and in one way or two, a faith-shaking one. We had smooth and steady times together and we got closer day by day, but there were always a tickling question: Quo vadis? We started calling each other names and be more open but somehow we found ourselves fell apart. It was a quite sweet fling that didn’t last, and even now we hardly see each other again. What’s left is just casual conversation and I found that I didn’t love him the way people love their lover. The feelings I used to had faded and I lived my life in confusion of entering the new, harsh, robotic, mechanistic, super-boring, and mind-boggling world of Chemical Engineering.
I’ve been hearing about my major many times, and none of them are positive. Still I don’t even know whether or not I regret my decision to enter this major at the very first place. I experienced what I’ve written –in detail- in my last post titled “Thrown Out of Throne”. The third semester was my lowest point in life although not as bad as what I had in 2007. Nothing worked out right, no pain was worth the gain, and it totally ripped off my normal life as an “I-need-more-rest-and-sleep-you-bastard” university student. I didn’t even get any chance to debate for months, and it results in a desperate exasperation.
At this point, I found a new family. I was –magically, plainly blessed by Allah SWT- accepted as one of 17 delegates of ITB Delegation for Harvard National Model United Nations 2011. I was excited and honored to be one of them. Being a PIC Training for my HNMUN mates: arranging the training, materials, and schedule, was not an easy job, but I effortlessly enjoyed it. I remember the hard times seeking for any sponsorship deals...uncertainty, misery, rejections.. I remember the struggle with my financial mates: Iji and Mac who turn to be the best and most supportive financial mates ever. I remember printing research materials, making punishment essay, and all those training stuffs. I remember meetings talking about the whole issue of our journey, Mita’s home which eventually became our basecamp, a place where we had laughter and tears, the moment of true friendship when we were scared applying visa to US Embassy and had a great deal of fun at Grand Indonesia afterwards. Our intensive training, the joint training that I didn’t attend, endless mail on mailing list, and lots of things.
At around The Holy Month, I started having a kind of another special friendship with another guy. Things went quite well and we found out that we were really fond of each other. He was there when I was pushed back and forth by my major, by osjur, by endless test and quizzes. He was the one where I could run to at those times: providing the care and comfort I needed the most. Leaning an open mind and open ear when I endlessly bitching over my life, my life, my life. It was bad that I let him hear only about unpleasant things, but he thought it was a piece of cake and although his words were cheesy and shallow and fishy, but at that vulnerable point, I was literally swayed.
2010 ended with a clearly busy year-end holiday. I was the person in charge for HNMUN intensive training, although I was quite relieved because I got relatively big amount of sponsorship from PT PUSRI (Holding). It was sufficient enough to fulfill 60-70% of my needs and I really thank Bapak Reza for it J. I was also dared enough to join IVED 2011 intensive training as a yet-to-be adjudicator, despite the arguments with mom about financial matter when I wanted to had accreditation at IVED Makassar, which was quite costly, and mom wanted me to prioritize my next USA Trip first. The world was spinning at the right axis, thank God. I received the sponsorship money, secured my USA trip, boarded a plane for the first time and visited Sulawesi for the first time also, got A accreditation and was trusted to adjudicate in Grand Final Round with a panel of adjudicators consists of seniors. It was an undoubtedly great experience.
My last months of 18 years old was filled with a balance of bad and good times. I was thrilled by my HNMUN journey and in a very short circumstances before my departure, I discovered the real truth about someone I thought I could believe in. Yes, the chick-flick guy I wrote earlier. Turns out that all his sweet words and acts and affections and deadly poisonous rainbow candies were all fake. I almost arrived to a conclusion that he’d never loved me anyway, while I was falling slowly into his trap, his spider web. Oh, what an irony! But then my departure time came, and I left my unrequited love in Indonesia, flew to United States, to a concrete jungle where dreams are made.
It really helped. I ignored every attempt to contact him first in any sort of communication. I let myself healed instantly by the pouring snow and distinguished delegates J. The journey was a great deal of fun. The conference loaded me with new insights about the world’s decision making process, and the whole trip was just plainly amazing. When you have 17 fantastic people to travel with, life can never be flat. And galau was obviously out of place. Returning to Indonesia, I found evidence that further encourages me to believe that that particular person was simply jerk, and I left him happily although he continued to ignite the flame of hope, awaking greedy monster that hungers for affection inside me. I am now a more mature person. A happier one. I’m more ready to face whatever life has for me in store.
I can feel the betterment in every blood drops running inside my vein.
And suddenly I turn 19. Nineteen. The last year of being a teenager. I’ve gone through many lessons of life and am eager to learn more.

























