His Advice

My twin brother successfully made me cry. I know he’s such a good person to talk to, but damn it, I never know he’s also an excellent philosopher. He sees life in colorful ways instead of seeing it in black and white as I do. And I thank God that I have him in my life.

He was quite angry with me cause he knew I wasn’t gonna accept his words instantly. He was super patient when he listened to my explanation, while I was such a spoiled crybaby. I know this is a very old-fashioned problem… I’ve tried so many approaches to solve it, yet it comes again and again.

His words were also heart-stabbing. He pointed out my weakness with effective words and I was speechless in a flick of time.

“You know what? You’re selfish. You think you’re perfect and what makes you imperfect is your surrounding environment—that’s why you keep on blaming others for your own fault”.

“Life in itself is not something that you can change. It never is, it never will. Constraints are there, every time. There’s nothing that you can do except changing yourself to be more suitable with what it demands. You gotta learn that God has never been rude or unfriendly to you. When you curse God, has God ever struck you with lightning, instantly? God is forgiving. If God’s an ordinary human, God won’t accept it when you mock. You do realize that you need God, yet you still whine about some unclear stuffs?”

“It is always your choice—whether you want to be successful or not. There’s no such thing as ‘parent’s demand’ or ‘it is the only way’ or ‘i’ve got used to do that, therefore i don’t have any choice’. Who choose to live? Who choose to die? Who choose to kill himself? Who choose to get into good schools? If parents say you should take this major, you can always choose not to get into. You can, and face its own consequences. Who told you to believe in religion? Who says you cannot be a Buddhist or Christian or Catholic or atheist? You’re living your own world. Nobody can or has ever taken it away from you”.

“When you say you’ve tried your best but don’t get the best score, do you really know what is the parameter of something being said as ‘best’? Do you really know that you’ve learned those chapters until its upper limit? Do you know what others do to reach their ‘best’? Frankly, you don’t. You have that nature to tell the world how hardworking you are, and try to justify that bad result by saying that life has treated you wrong once again. Then you’ll crumble yourself in despair. Then you say you’re giving up. Then you curse. Then you get angry to people around you. Then you start to blame your noisy home or why you don’t live on your own just like your friends. You’re running out of reality, but you are going to go back and face that horrible monster again. Like it or not. Imagine a glass. You said you’ve done your best to fill it halfway. Do you think life would be as easy as saying that you can stop there, without filling it up until it’s full? What does that mean? It means YOUR BEST IS NOT ENOUGH. Go ahead and stop, you may. But that won’t get you anywhere”.

“You know what’s the most effective way to deal with problems? Keep on striving. You know perfectly well that a little effort may result in a much better way rather than doing nothing, at all. Full stop.”

“You’re not going to say that this—your life—is something that you should accept plainly. You accept that it’s unfair and start hoping that you can change the world. Wrong. World cannot be changed, it lives and works and turns in its own pace. In the way it desires. Yes damn right it’s a bitch. Prove that you can be better than what it demands to just stay alive. That way, you can reach your goal of conquering the world. At least the world of your own”.

“There’s this simple equation.

Maximum Effort + X Factors = Maximum Result

We’ve talked about maximum efforts. You know what X Factors are? It is God’s will. It is parents’ silent cry in midnight when they pray for you in their prayers. It is the support you get from family and friends. Be thankful for that. You’ve never asked them directly or forced them to do that, have you? They do it based on their own wish. Be thankful for their countless love for you. You don’t know how much you are loved”.

And after that he left me alone, saying “Now think about it”. I was crying inside out.

But I’ve made a promise not to be the same person over and over again. It’s time to learn the lesson.

Stand on your own feet, and get up even when others can’t.