Waiting is surely not my interest. I'm a bit impatient, and this period of waiting is... I don't know, should I call it: inexplicable?
Last week, on May 30-31, 2009, I had a big test. Ujian Saringan Masuk 2 ITB (Bandung Institute of Technology, Second Admission Test) --> translating it as if English people will read :P
Why do I call that a big day?
Well, I've long wanted to have my future education at ITB. Everything just suits me well there. The green trees, fresh air, strategic location (it's less than 10 minutes from my home!), the (okay, assumption) best engineering education Indonesia can offer, plus the fact that it was my second home during my debate-freak-year. Actually I've been attracted to ITB since I was just a little kid. I always see this campus as a place for genius, where success seems to be in front of your eyes. Some people there might say that it's not really true, but it's a general fact that ITB graduates are often easy to get a good job and eventually grow their career fast.
Now I'm in the middle of achieving it. I've done what I could back then in USM 2, and I really hope that my dream will come true. It was said that 12th of June will be the day of the announcement, and now I'm gonna say I'm having a pseudo freedom.
You know times when you can do anything but you can do nothing? This is it. This is the time. When I wanna go out and refresh, I remind myself that there's no certainty that I'll be free. When I have the desire to come to a debate practice or accept the invitation my friends there give me, I feel a bit pressured to visit ITB. When I watch DVD, I laugh but it's not a full laugh. I still have to prepare for the worst, which is joining SNMPTN if I'm not accepted in USM 2. To tell you the truth... I'm so not ready if I have to face SNMPTN. If I do, I will have lost before fighting. I don't have the mental strength it requires. I can't erase the negative thoughts... it results in a demotivating way of life I'm having right now. Once I opened a book to study for SNMPTN, at the same time I lost my mood.
It's very risky actually. If and if I have to join SNMPTN, I will only have just about 2 weeks plus to prepare for it. For God Sake.............aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhh nooo!!
What's left is hope. And a big hope that things will be alright. I hope it will.
Well, wish me luck, people :)
Why do I call that a big day?
Well, I've long wanted to have my future education at ITB. Everything just suits me well there. The green trees, fresh air, strategic location (it's less than 10 minutes from my home!), the (okay, assumption) best engineering education Indonesia can offer, plus the fact that it was my second home during my debate-freak-year. Actually I've been attracted to ITB since I was just a little kid. I always see this campus as a place for genius, where success seems to be in front of your eyes. Some people there might say that it's not really true, but it's a general fact that ITB graduates are often easy to get a good job and eventually grow their career fast.
Now I'm in the middle of achieving it. I've done what I could back then in USM 2, and I really hope that my dream will come true. It was said that 12th of June will be the day of the announcement, and now I'm gonna say I'm having a pseudo freedom.
See? Smiling in a cage, that's how I feel.
You know times when you can do anything but you can do nothing? This is it. This is the time. When I wanna go out and refresh, I remind myself that there's no certainty that I'll be free. When I have the desire to come to a debate practice or accept the invitation my friends there give me, I feel a bit pressured to visit ITB. When I watch DVD, I laugh but it's not a full laugh. I still have to prepare for the worst, which is joining SNMPTN if I'm not accepted in USM 2. To tell you the truth... I'm so not ready if I have to face SNMPTN. If I do, I will have lost before fighting. I don't have the mental strength it requires. I can't erase the negative thoughts... it results in a demotivating way of life I'm having right now. Once I opened a book to study for SNMPTN, at the same time I lost my mood.
It's very risky actually. If and if I have to join SNMPTN, I will only have just about 2 weeks plus to prepare for it. For God Sake.............aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhh nooo!!
What's left is hope. And a big hope that things will be alright. I hope it will.
Well, wish me luck, people :)
photos via blinksoflife
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